Peachy.

16 years ago today, I held a little baby girl with black fuzzy hair in my arms for the very first time. She came to me after an incredibly difficult and long 9 month journey. But as I touched her soft pink skin and counted her 10 tiny toes and 10 dainty fingers, I knew that every day of sickness and pain had been worth it. God knew I needed her as much as she needed me.

Her infancy was no bed of roses. She rarely slept and was colicky and cranky. She tried every last strand of patience I had. But somehow, through it all, my love for her not only provided patience but deepened with every rudely awakened hour. Eventually the terror subsided and she and I began to click. She became my
sidekick, my girlie, my source of laughter and joy on a daily basis.

Today is no different. She still has moments where she tries every last strand of patience I have but overall she still brings me laughter and joy on a daily basis. I am in awe when I look at her and think about all she is already doing with her young life. I marvel in the fact that she's mine. I take no credit for her intelligence and talent because I believe that drive comes from within. God has wonderful plans in store for her and I can't wait to see all He intends to do with her life. I wonder if Mary felt as humbled as I do when she looked at Jesus? I know that's a bit extreme but I am incredibly honored that God chose me to be this child's mother. I am even more honored that she looks to me for love and support.

With each new step toward independence that she takes, I experience a twinge of apprehension and fear. Not only is she venturing into this dangerous world, she is inching even closer to adulthood. She will not be at home much longer and will soon be on her way to the future she is destined to know. I am both excited and sad - yet I know it must happen. I feel God's hand upon her and I know He will be guiding her every step. And yet.... I long to hold that little hand one more time as she crosses the street, long to sing one more lullaby while rocking her to sleep, long to smell that baby shampooed hair and hear her chitter chatter as she reads aloud.

But yet - I wave to her as she drives off in her little green Mazda with a forced smile upon my face and a tiny tear descending from my eye....