When I was little, I asked God to make candy be as nutritious and low calorie as vegetables - and God said NO. When I was a teenager, I asked God to make me naturally thin with no acne and God said NO. When I was an older teen and dealing with the first phases of an autoimmune disease, I asked God to heal me and God said NO. When I was in college, I asked God to show me the right career path and God said NO. As a young adult, I asked God to help me understand my husband and God said NO. As a young mother, I asked God for more sleep and God said NO. As I neared my 40's, I asked God to heal my marriage and God said NO.
Sometimes all we hear is NO, NO, NO.
After all of those negative answers to my questions, I pouted for a bit. Then I cried. Then I spent time angry at God, asking why. Why must life be so stinkin' difficult?
But after the biggest NO of my life (the divorce), I began to realize that those negatory answers might have been the very clearest pathways to some of my best YESSES!
When I realized candy would never be as nutritious and low calorie as vegetables, I eventually decided I liked my leafy greens. YES! When I realized that I would have to deal with my weight and the occasional pimple, I learned to look beyond the physical and realize how much more there is to a person - including myself. YES! When I figured out there was no cure for my autoimmune disease and God wasn't going to heal me, I found ways of coping and new medications were developed that ease my symptoms. And it's not life threatening or severe enough to be debilitating so I really nothing to complain about. YES! I may not have ever found the right career path, but I got to spend time as a stay home mom. YES! I'll never understand men, but I've got some really great girlfriends who understand me. YES! I may not have gotten more sleep as a young mother but I'm getting quite a bit as a mother of teens which may be even more important. YES! God didn't heal my marriage, but He did heal my hurts and help me find myself again. YES!
Sometimes NO is a YES waiting to happen.
So, I've had a few NO's lately. And I pouted. And I cried. Got mad. Asked why. Just like before. But at the same time, I'm not too terribly upset over them because I know that there is a yes waiting to happen, when the time is right and when I've learned what I needed to learn from the no's.
In the meantime, I'm looking back over all the yesses and learning to be thankful for the no's. And that's what helps me sleep at night - knowing that no matter how hard life gets, there's a reward around the corner or maybe a chance for me to be someone's YES.
