I have about 10 days left in Elk City and I can honestly say that I've never felt such opposite emotions consecutively in my entire life. When change occurs, I'm usually all for it or completely dreading it. This time it's different. It's different not just in the fact that I have conflicting feelings but it's different in that there is no question in my mind that it's what I need to do. In the past, I have initiated change with some hesitancy and then even second guessed it afterward. This time, in spite of my sadness over leaving, I'm certain this is exactly what is best...... for me, for the kids, for all involved.
I'm incredibly excited while at the same time overwhelmed by sentiment. I see new opportunities, new friendships and new discoveries where I'm headed; but I see cherished memories, loving friendships and comfortable familiarity that I'm leaving behind. The new location is full of potential but this community has nurtured me and helped me grow into the woman I am today.
Western Oklahoma has indeed become a part of me and a section of my heart will always be reserved for those I've known and loved here. I know logically that it's not really good-bye because I will keep in touch with so many, but any time change is coming I think it's good to take a few moments to mourn what is no longer going to be the norm. So much I will miss..... I once read a book about grief that pointed out if something wasn't important to you, there would be no need to mourn. This community must have been a big deal, because I'm already feeling the loss.
Over the next few days I will be getting around to a few short notes about my nearest and dearest here in Elk. They may be sappy and sentimental so take a little vacation from reading for a bit if that bothers you. Otherwise, get the tissues out. My heart is needing to bleed a bit.
