Listening to the Quiet

So last night as I was asking why, I sat still for a minute and tried to quiet my inner 2 year old. I was quiet... and still.... and I didn't fall asleep right away. I listened. I heard the activities of the house and I heard my breathing and I heard a few of my thoughts but then I blocked all of that out. Before I began my prayer, I found quiet... I found peace.... and for that moment, even though He did not speak, I found God.

He still is not speaking to me about the particular issue for which I need answers, but He is here,with me, all the time. He puts His loving arms around me and holds me in such a way that I know everything is as it should be at this point in time. He does not move me to act but seems to hold me right where I am in a stance of comfort. And even though there are no words, I feel His presence is His way of communicating that there is absolutely nothing for me to do right now. He has ME in His hands and He knows what I need. He will work out everything in His time, not mine. He will provide the desires of my heart even if they are not what I think they are or not what I think I want.

I don't really understand why He would allow me to go on living in this state of uneasiness but I feel He is trying to calm me in a way.... I *do* trust Him but it is hard to not ask Him to just hurry up and fix this situation or hurry up and fix me.

So when I finally feel that I am able to request of Him, I simply ask for discernment. Discernment to know when to act and when to be still. Discernment in the words I should say and when to say them or when to keep them inside. Discernment to know what is true and what is false in this tricky game of life. Discernment in what is beginning and what might need to end.

He knows what I will do even before I do.... just wish He could tell me now and give fair warning before I make too many life altering errors.