It wasn't long ago that I felt blocked in and at a stand-still in my journey. I had tried for so long to get out of the deep valley I was in an look for higher ground but I couldn't manage the rocks in my path. Looking back, I now see why. As usual, I was trying to conquer those rocks myself........ all in vain. Some rocks are just too big to climb and that's where I had to step back, throw a little tantrum, get fed by the Father and take a lil nap.
When I woke up from my rest, I began to see things a little differently. If I want a different life, I have to be willing to take some risks. Not only that, I have to quit looking back and mulling over past mistakes. I've punished myself enough! I've learned valuable lessons from them but it's time to chalk it all up to experience and put the past behind me. I can't let the fear of repeating those mistakes, inhibit me from trying new things. If I want to fly, I have to first let go of the nest.
So.... uncomfortable as it is, I'm letting go of my past (not gonna lie, I'm shakin in my boots a lil) and putting myself out there. Right now, today, life is about me! I need to embrace that and indulge because this part could very well be temporary. For everything there is a season and I've been given an unknown block of time that I can just be me, be what I want to be, do what I want to do, say what I want to say, etc..... you get the point.
I have begun to embrace this and be thankful for what I have - this is a gift! Not everyone gets this chance! The circumstances that led to this opportunity no longer matter - that's old history and I'm letting it go. In a way I feel I've let go of the security blanket and gone into a full fledged free fall. And after the panic has worn off, I realize that I do indeed have wings! Wings that are no longer clipped. Wings that are strong and able..... wings that have the power of flight!
Free falling is sort of a thrill ride...... but realizing the wings are there and working, well - that's empowering. I'm still learning how wings work and I'm sure I'll have many more bumps and bruises along the way but just knowing that when I fall I don't have to stay down is comfort enough for me. God equips us when we need it but sometimes we have to let go of the things that hinder our travel before He can give us the tools we need to keep going.
Psalm 37:23-24
The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand. (or equips them with wings!)
No comments:
Post a Comment