What is Beauty?

Dear God, You are worth far more praise than I could ever give. Please help me to rest in Your presence and trust in Your plan. Fill me with Your perspective until I joyfully lay down my will for Yours. Lord, when You look at my life, I want You to see beautiful. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

That is not my prayer (Gwen Smith wrote it) but it very well could be.

I have reached a time in my life where I am no longer subject to someone else's plans, hopes or dreams.  While I am still a daughter, mother, and friend I am beginning to see that the rest of my life is in my own hands.  I'm not tied to any certain location because of a job, spouse, or family.  For the first time, I can begin to dream and discover and DO what *I* want!  It's exciting but scary at the same time.  Choices are powerful - one bad choice and life spirals out of control but good choices can be the springboard to true living!

And although it is all about me right now, if I act on my own accord then I will miss something along the way.  I've spent too many years with a hole in my heart and now that its filled, I want to keep it full.  The only way to do that is to "rest in His presence" as Gwen so eloquently put it.  I trust God even in the midst of life situations that I don't like.  I believe His plan is perfect and I know He is shaping me into what He wants me to become.  

Will I find myself confused?  Sure and probably often
Will I find myself afraid?  Absolutely
Will I find myself doubting?  Yep, that too.

But what I ultimately want is just what Gwen said in her prayer - to be seen as beautiful.  Beauty is not confused, afraid or doubtful.  Beauty is strong, confident and wise.  The only way to be truly beautiful is to let my maker finish His final touches and trust His timing on that.  So I am resting now, letting Him work - until He reveals to me just where He wants me.  Because it really isn't about me, never was, never will be.  And I'm finally ok with that.