Social Media

I'm at my wits end with several life situations and have decided that social media is at least, in part, to blame.  When I look back through history and remember a time when I didn't even own a computer,  I only see happy memories....   days when I played with my children, cooked more, talked to my loved ones more (on the phone and in person) and had more clarity about who I was.  As I remember the first computer purchase and entry into my home, I begin to see a steady decline in all of the previously mentioned activities.  I didn't embrace the computer right away.  I remember thinking that was the last thing I wanted to do at home since I was in front of a computer at work all day.  But as social media entered the picture, I became more and more enamored and at one time, even addicted to social media applications and even games (embarrassing as that is to admit).

I have been able to reel that in a bit and I would not say that I am addicted any longer.  However, it is more readily available than ever now that we not only have computers - laptops even -  we also have these apps on our phones!  So no longer do we even have to sit uncomfortably at a desk, we can take laptops to our recliners or whip out our phones while waiting in the drive thru!  We even get little notifications to tell us when someone has noticed us online - whether responding to a message or liking something we said or wanting to be our "friend".     Not gonna lie - those little notifications trigger something in me and I just HAVE TO find out who is responding or seeking me at that moment.....  It is completely ridiculous!  It feeds the ego and its a very pleasurable feeling to know that someone somewhere thought of me for even just a moment.  But is it healthy?

While most of the time those little notifications elicit pleasure in me, I also have to say I have moments where the opposite is true.  This happened to me night before last - checking Facebook, my social equivalent of crack cocaine - I noticed a post and got a little ticked off - no, more than ticked, downright LIVID.  Here I was about to drift off to sleep - just checking my alarm on my phone and the cute little beep that indicates a comment came up - so I can't help but look at it.  And then my whole night went to hell.....  If only I hadn't taken that moment to look I would have gone to sleep and probably would not even have seen this little snippet at all.  But....nevertheless - I saw, I responded and even took it much, much further than I should have.  And now I'm left with the fallout.

Maybe that happened to open my eyes a bit.  Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Maybe it was exactly what I needed to end my love affair with Facebook.  I deactivated my account the next day.

I love my peeps.  I was able to keep current with my peeps on Facebook.  However, if I truly love them enough - I can keep current with them anyway.  I miss the inspiring quotes and pictures that are posted.  I miss the coupon tips and traveling info I was able to view every day.  And - I miss out on a few Words with Friends games by not being searchable online.  So there are some things I'm sacrificing while I detox from the addictive properties that tempt me.

The timing couldn't be more perfect.  The Walk to Emmaus is coming up in just over a week. It is a time when I will get to know God on a more personal level.  It will be a weekend get away with the love of my life!  I believe it is in my best interest to stop and focus on Him.  In doing this, I have removed distraction - not just with Facebook but with other relationships that bring out emotion whether negative or positive.  I even have time off work and time to get away with my sweet baby girl.

I'm taking time to be still....  and KNOW....  that HE is GOD.    I posted about my broken heart and now I've posted about how my flesh may fail but I claim this verse today and know that my strength to get through this trial will be provided.  Psalm 73:26 - My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I expect to arrive back from my weekend with JC, refreshed, renewed and invigorated. I may not have the answers I want or even clear direction but I know He will comfort me and give me peace and joy in the middle of this storm.  Will I be back on Facebook at some point?  Maybe.  Probably.  But hopefully if that happens, I will be able to keep it to a healthy level and manage it wisely.  I know now it is not a big deal or a need in my life.  In fact, life might even be better without it.   Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.