Weak moments

I had another vivid dream earlier this week that has haunted me a bit.  I won't go into detail because it wouldn't make sense to anyone but me.  It wasn't frightening but I remember being extremely irritated in my dream.  I had a problem that was small.  I tried to fix it and then it got bigger.  I tried again and it got bigger still.  Then I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I could NOT fix it.  I would have to ask for help.  I hated to ask for help because it was a very personal, very messy issue.  I also knew that by going for help, I might potentially expose my problem to someone else.  The funny thing is - the part of the problem that was embarrassing was really not even my fault!  I didn't make the mess - someone else did; but every time I tried to clean it up, it got bigger and bigger and bigger.  I was afraid to seek help because I didn't want the person to think it was me that made the mess.

Well you know what?  Who made the mess doesn't really matter.  The fact that I was trying to clean it up is noble....but letting my pride interfere with getting help is something to be ashamed of.  Worrying about what others think is something I need to work on.  My control freakishness often makes mountains out of molehills.  If I would just admit my flaws and weaknesses to others and ask them to help me, I could conquer those molehills much more quickly.  But NOOOOO......  I think I have to be queen of the mountain!

Now....  because I'm having a weak moment, I'm going to quit the negative thinking about what I should have done and quit feeling bad about the unhealthy obsessions I have today.  I'm going to BRAG a little on myself so that I can put that nastiness aside and be somebody's SONshine today :)

What Amy does well:
1. In weak moments, she sees her errors and corrects them!
2. She looks for the beauty in abstract situations.
3. She seeks the ways God loves her AND finds them
4. She loves her people - truly LOVES them - in an intense teeth gritting kind of way
5. She knows when to put away the box and learn to live OUTSIDE it.

Now - if you think about it later and you want a really good laugh, ask me about the problem in my dream.  You'll be amazed that the inner sanctum of my mind could be so corrupt and I think you will laugh :)  This invitation is only for my closest dearest peeps because it really is a ridiculous dream and even more ridiculous that I could find meaning in it - BUT, no doubt, God works in mysterious ways.  He is truly my maintenance man!  Without him, nothing would EVER get fixed around here!