Kitty Christmas

So I pulled out the Christmas tree yesterday and got it put up minus the ornaments. I'm letting the kids do that tonight. I'll watch them and hope for laughter without the lump in my throat or in the pit of my stomach knowing this is the first Christmas that our family has taken such a different path. I never knew how painful holidays can be when you are alone. It give me new perspective and empathy for those who have lost loved ones this year (no matter what the circumstances). However, in an odd way, the Christmas tree gives hope. Even as a little girl, I loved sitting in the dark with only the tree lights on daydreaming of what would await me on Christmas morning. As I got older, my dreams expanded past Christmas and I would think about my life ahead of me and be full of hope for the plans God had for me. I'm trying very hard to see past the bittersweet side of this and know that I still have that hope and know that Christmas this year is going to be wonderful even if I'm alone because I've got so many people that love me.

So on to the kitty side of this. The reason I came to this conclusion this morning is because of Ruby the cat. She is so funny. When Anna was little she had these two small stuffed kittens (about the size of real kittens) and Ruby immediately adopted them. No lie - she carries them around the house by the scuff of their neck just like a mama cat would. She even talks kitty talk to them (if you've ever known a mama cat, they have a really different, strange language for their kittens). She usually does this at night when we are all in bed. Most often I can hear her coming down the hall, chatting her kitten language with the kitten in her mouth and she then brings the kitten to my room for the night. I heard her last night but this time she was in the living room and did not come into my room. She was talking way more than usual but I dismissed it and rolled over to sleep.

This morning was normal and I went through the motions packing kids lunches and getting ready for work. After the kids left, I glanced at the tree. Underneath it was a "sleeping" stuffed kitten. I know it's odd but it so touched my heart. I know Ruby is a cat and has no real reasoning ability but I can't help but think she is excited about Christmas too. I can't help but think that Ruby brought her baby to the tree to show her its Christmas! Look! Presents are coming! Or else she has sensed my sadness lately and brought her baby there as a gift to me. Nevertheless, it made me see that no matter what life brings, no matter what trials we face, there is always Christmas! It's about love and hope! God wants us to know how much He loves us and wants us to see how much hope he brings. ALL things are possible through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you - plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.

The tree is up and even with the knot in my stomach I know He's got this. He's never let me down and never will.