Bleak Midwinter

As it is Thanksgiving of course I am feeling nostalgic. Looking back on years gone by and realizing this year is so very different. This is the first year that I will experience the holidays without a husband.

That thought could get me down but I'm not going to go there (for today at least). I am going to count what I do still have and know that there is One who loves me more than I can understand. One who will never detach even though I miss the mark time and time again.

My heart longs to be shared but I am learning that I must first share it with the One who loves me most. I've held on to my heart too long, greedily clenching it with my own selfish will. I release it now as the Christmas season begins and open my clenched fist in faith that our Great Provider knows my needs even more than I do. He gives even when we don't deserve it .... especially when we don't deserve it.

My focus is not on what I can give others this year but on what I can give Him. This brings to mind a favorite hymn - my theme song this season.

In the bleak midwinter, frost wind made moan, earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow, in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold him, nor earth sustain; heaven and earth shall flee away when he comes to reign. In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there, cherubim and seraphim thronged the air; but his mother only, in her maiden bliss, worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb. If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part. Yet what can I give? Give Him my heart.