Grumble grumble

I know the majority of my blog posts are lessons I've learned or am in the process of learning - but sometimes the lesson is difficult to find.  Sometimes life throws so many daggers at you that you just can't dodge them all and you end up getting hit.....right through the heart.  

I've been tip toeing along so carefully - deliberately planting each step in my journey....  seeking direction and wisdom when all of a sudden the forest got deep and dark and scary.  And right now - all I want to do is step into a cave and hide. 

And then verses like the following hit me on the head:

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

I can look for things to be thankful for all day long.....  and I find them and I AM truly thankful.  However, being cheerful in the midst of a deep, dark, cold forest is beyond me.  I am not cheerful lately.  I feel persecuted, misunderstood and misled.   AND....  I know its NOT from God.  Honestly though - I am running out of fight.  I am weary, worn and beat down.

This is when I let God pick me up and carry me right?  All I can hope is that He really is doing this.  I do trust Him and I do know that he will use this time in my life for a reason - even if my feelings are not from Him.  He can still take my bad stuff and mix it, mold it  - make it into something beautiful.... someday....  in His time.  For now, I hope to remain moldable and not get hard and rigid.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way! Thou art the Potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me after Thy will, While I am waiting, yielded and still.