Who gets me?

I'm still pondering the mysterious ways that God works in our lives.  More often than not, He works behind the scenes and we never even realize what's going on.......  until much later when He chooses to reveal it to us.  He works in the hearts of those who love us, who pray for us and who may not even tell us that they do this.  He works in our hearts and sometimes through our emotions - creates desires in us that we would have never expected had we been living for ourselves.  He also works in our times of discontent and stirs within us a desire for change even when we have no idea what that change needs to be.  Sometimes He even works in us through our sin and our mistakes and shows us how to learn from them..... if we seek Him and let Him.  And often even when we aren't seeking Him or asking Him - He is still doing His thing....working with patience, hoping, pursuing, wooing us.  He desires us, longs for us and craves our attention.

I don't understand what God is doing in my life right now.  He is being mysterious and asking me to trust....  I am often embarrassed at my situation - that I'm divorced, that I can't stay organized, that I'm wishy washy at times and that I lack confidence in certain situations.  I often still feel like a little girl seeking approval and very much NOT the mature, insightful woman I'd like to be.  I often feel like no one understands me or could comprehend what my mind goes through each day or even worse - that others judge me and see only my flaws.  And reality is - all of that IS happening!  Some misunderstand, some judge, some feel sorry for me - that's just how we are built as humans.  We are emotional and even when that emotion doesn't make sense God still uses it.  God gets me.  God wants to use me.  God wants me to not ask why or how or especially what will anyone else think.  So.... even I don't need to "get it".  He doesn't ask for me to understand, He just asks for me to obey.

So I continue my journey and I walk even further into the wilderness.  The season of Lent is upon us and this year I am walking.  I'm also giving up something important which I may write about at a later date but I'm adding in something new and devoting time to walk.  Sounds pretty elementary and I don't understand it just yet - but God asked me to walk - with Him - and with my son Drew and sometimes with friends.  I believe that by Easter He will help me understand how this walking is going to build me spiritually.  Jesus went to the wilderness to find out who He is as He relates to God.  Maybe that's what God is doing with me as well.

Who is Amy?  I lost her for a long time but with each step, I begin to see her again.  This time without rose colored glasses or behind smoke and mirrors.  This time - with a little of my maker's view.  Who gets me better than the one who made me?  He is the only source we need to find ourselves.

Phillipians 1:6 - There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.