Strong, Reasonable, Confident Woman..... Not this chick!

Inner growth becomes hampered when we cut off and deny our emotional needs. A sense of emotional vulnerability is something many women find disturbing. Vulnerability frightens us. To cover the fear, we create a slick surface maturity, and we bury the inner self.

I'm not sure who wrote this quote....  I stole it from Facebook and I know the person who posted it had to have copied it from someone else (gosh, that's not very nice of me to assume that is it?)

Nevertheless, it rings so very true and is phrased in a way that I have never considered.  What I have fought so hard to be over the years - a strong, reasonable, confident woman is exactly what has made me a weak, broken, vulnerable little girl.  In trying to be that mature woman, I pushed aside my emotional needs.  I tried to do it all and model perfection.  I tried to hide my flaws or worse, ignore them.  One of the worst things I could think of was to be needy.  I saw that as selfish I think.....

However, it's clear now that what I saw as selfish was actually self awareness and I fought with everything I had to deny that was a need.  Self intimacy was a foreign term to me.  I remember when I first heard about it....  honestly, I thought naughty thoughts. haha.....  but really it's the purest, most basic form of love there is.   It's even Biblical: Mark 12:30 - Love your neighbor as YOURSELF.  What that means to me is that you have to love yourself BEFORE you can really love your neighbor.  You can't love yourself if you bury her under a whole bunch of unmet emotional needs.

So once again, I am getting confirmation that I'm on the right road and once again I see that it really is the road less traveled.  It's scary to be real.  It makes us vulnerable.  And quite honestly there will be times that we will come under attack for it.  It is not for everyone and definitely not for the faint at heart.  It requires courage and FAITH.  

And even though I haven't seen it yet, I believe the risk is so worth the reward.  It may take me years and years to truly see where this road leads but I just don't think you can beat the adventure it will provide.  There is no need to fear vulnerability.  The only risk I see is potential hurt from the attacks I may face.  But if I've learned anything over the last year, I've learned that hurt makes me stronger, gives me wisdom and directs my confidence where it belongs which is in the arms of God.

Ironically it is this very vulnerability that we fear so much that actually gives us the strength we need to keep truckin on this journey called life.  Don't fight it or it will fight back and end up burying you in the process.