This is a very unusual advent season for me. Many thoughts are in my head - deeper, more emotional heaviness than I've ever known. Little by little, Christ clears the weight from my head and replaces it with understanding like I've never known before. He gives me new confidence every day - not self confidence, but God confidence - which is really what I've needed all these years anyway. Remarkably, the book that was chosen by our ladies group to study fits in nicely with everything I've been thinking about. The title - "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God".
There is no better example of a "yes" girl than Mary - the mother of Jesus. What if Mary had said NO? She could have and God would have used someone else. How easy would it have been for her to let doubt cloud her focus, or fear hide her vision? Not only was she merely a girl, but she was a virgin. Not only was there the possibility of shame but also of torture - for young women were stoned for this in her day. She could potentially lose her beloved over this. And let's not even mention the pain.... Mary had to have witnessed childbirth by this time in her life. She surely knew of the discomfort of pregnancy and had seen the or heard of the agonies of birth. But Mary was willing in spite of this. She did not question if she was suited to this or if the timing was right. She trusted her God to bring her through it and knew He would bless her because of it. This may be the purest example of faith I know.
So I decided to look into the meaning of her name. If you google it, you will find several different meanings but most sources will say it was originally an Egyptian name - meaning beloved. How do you think that went over with someone by the name of Amy?..... yes my name also means beloved! Amy - who has been wanting to say yes - to something - but not sure what just yet. Amy - who needs a vision, a purpose right now in this uncertain time of her life. Amy - beloved - God is calling you. What will you say?
God planted within me a desire when I was a little girl and although I excelled at many different things throughout my childhood, there was only one thing at which I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted for my life. That was and is motherhood. My greatest task, greatest blessing and job that I am best at - is the important responsibility of mothering my children. There is no greater gift. I am truly humbled that God gave me these children and the incredible gift of motherhood. They both amaze me daily and I feel that I can't take credit for any of the wonderful things they do because their talents are truly from God. I feel in awe that He entrusted their care to me. What is my job as their mother? To love and nurture them into adulthood.
But what God showed me today is that this does not have to stop with my own children. God showed me that I have something in common with Mary. My name means beloved - just like Mary - and God loves me so much that he gave me the desire to continue to love and nurture not just my own children but to love and nurture His children! Can you imagine how humbled Mary must have been to be chosen to love and nurture Jesus? And now....God wants me to do the same. This isn't limited to the obvious definition of children (18 and under) but all of us our God's children and we all need to be loved. God sent Jesus to help us understand His love but Jesus is no longer on earth. We see Jesus through each other. And even Jesus needs His mother :) So my gift this Christmas and going forward is motherhood. I embrace this gift and say YES! I will be a mother - not just to my own children but to God's children. Mother to Jesus? Me? Yes - because Jesus is in all of us - lets love and nurture Him in our hearts and the hearts of others.
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