Air

I came across an old favorite of mine tonight. No, I don't listen to classical music often but the song Air by Bach was randomly packaged on my new tablet device. As I listened I began to realize that this is a beautiful work of art that I have been in love with since my youth. I had simply forgotten just how moving it really is.

Then, as I listened, I began to mourn again. This time, however, that mourning took on a whole new meaning. Just as that song is treasured in my heart, so will be my love of 21 years.

Once upon a time, I played that song on horn and I played it so well that I got a perfect rating at contest. How and why was I able to play it so well? Because I felt it with all my heart. Now I know those feelings are not gone but i neglected to nurture them and hence lost the passion I once had for this kind of music. I neglected to practice and work because I got burned out and then made room for other things in my life.

To hear it again is bittersweet.

I see now that is what has happened in my marriage. Not just on my side, but his as well. The music will forever be with us as will be the sentiment, but we have moved in different directions. We will continue to cross paths but will have forgotten the melody. However, there will be times when the song plays randomly and loudly in our hearts. And I know that when that happens I will not be able to resist savoring every note.

Our marriage was made of sweet music. It just got overplayed. I will never regret the practice time for it gave me a gift I will have forever. Likely it will never get played again, but that doesn't mean that I won't listen often and hum along.