Exposed. Proceed with caution!

I write because it helps me express myself verbally. I write what I feel. But sometimes what I feel is not safe to share with the world....or at least I don't feel safe sharing it with the world. I could lock my blog and only allow subscribers to view it - but I really don't want to do that. So I often write in code. Those that know me well often think they can decipher my code and often they do just that. However, at times my code is misinterpreted and they get the wrong idea. I just want to call attention to that fact and issue fair warning that what you may *think* you are reading may be something totally opposite of what was intended.

In the past, I have had issues from not sharing my feelings with those around me. I have been a people pleaser so therefore, I used to put aside my needs or wants in order to make everyone else happy. What happened is that I ended up making myself very, very discontent. For the last 2 years or so, I have been working on being more transparent and I have been fairly successful in doing this without ticking anyone off too much. I will say now that I am on the road to finding contentment.... just not quite there yet. I have thoughts and feelings that confuse me and make me feel conflicted on a daily basis. This blog helps me work all that out.

My writings are often creative in nature. They may be pretend scenarios of situations I hope to encounter some day. This most definitely has been taken the wrong way by a few. I have taken down a few of my posts for this reason. This tempts me to quit writing ... or to write with extreme caution about what I say, think or feel but then that squelches any creativity I may need to express.

So I'm not going to do that. I'm going to keep writing and will write with clarity and purpose. It will be like the freshly cleaned patio door - you know the one - where someone thinks its open and walks right into it only to discover they should have been more careful ! But because I'm the homeowner here and I don't want my guests to get injured, my door will have some caution tape on it. My words will reflect my thoughts but the tape may hide some of the meaning. So read on my friends and loved ones..... but proceed with caution!!!!