Recipe gone wrong.

I don't really know what to write tonight, but I feel the need to write. I have so many mixed emotions going on right now, it's like my heart has been pureed in the blender with a bunch of other junk. I'm sure somehow I made this mess...like a recipe gone bad. I followed the recipe to a T but turns out that I must have written it down wrong because the dish is just simply not good enough to put on the table. I feel a sense of panic as well - like my dinner guests are set to arrive in 30 minutes and I just ruined the meal !!!

So now what? Do I run to the deli and substitute store bought food and try to pass it off as something I made? Do I try to rummage up something quick even though it won't be my best meal? Or do I simply admit my mistake when the guests arrive and take them all out to dinner?

The last option appears the easiest - but in reality could be just as difficult as the others and definitely more costly. The middle option is a challenge but could turn out just as wrong as my first attempt. The first is just a lie and nothing good ever comes from living a lie.

Turns out, in this situation, there is no easy answer. I know what I would do if this were a literal scenario but when it comes to the underlying issue I'm writing about, I waver. It's never easy to admit failure, but its even worse when you can't arrive at a reasonable fix. Mistakes are often good if they are correctable. They help you grow and you learn from them. I'm not sure if this is a correctable error however. I'm afraid it is a permanent mark.... not only on on my heart and soul - but also on the hearts of those I love.

So again I pray... and God reaffirmed my belief in praying for what I want today in my daily reading. Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Will His answer be what I want? Ultimately I believe it will. Maybe not my answer, but His. For He knows what's best and I will trust in that - even if it pains me today.