How's That Working For Ya?

So I came across a cool saying this week:  "I do not fail.  I succeed in finding out what does not work."

Let me just say I have been very successful lately.

Admittedly, I have let some things have priority in my life that do not deserve priority status.  Not that they aren't important things.......  I just need to place the MOST IMPORTANT back in His place.  Because quite honestly, when I'm not focused on God, life just doesn't work.

Why doesn't that sink in?

There are so many alluring things this world has to offer.  They look all sexy and delicious and FUN!  And to a degree - they ARE.  However, after a few rounds, the sexy wears off, the initial deliciousness has a bad aftertaste and the fun just fades away.  Then what's left?

A few tears maybe.

There are also things not so alluring that get in our way.  Our "responsibilities" consume our time.  I put that in quotes because they are often not so necessary.  We let them overcome us and rule over our schedules.  Job, housework, exercise, kids tend to have first place in our agendas and that's reasonable.  But just because something is reasonable, does not make it right.  All of those things can have too much emphasis - and they have for me lately (well, not the housework part).  I look back on my week and ask.....what's left?

A few moments of insanity?

I will also even venture to say that church can get in the way.  We get so wrapped up in the routine and the ritualism of it that we sometimes miss the point.  We attend, we serve, we contribute.  We do all the churchy things that we think we are supposed to do - but we forget to look at our hearts and the intent behind it all.... and mutter to ourselves - what's left?

Times of confusion, lack of vision, apathy.

All of it leads down a path that just isn't working for me.  I'm overwhelmed emotionally, underwhelmed intellectually and overstimulated socially.  Why?  There's only one reason I can think of......  I haven't had my daily dose of wisdom.  I've let my diet of scripture be replaced with internet trash.  I've been talking more to people than to God.  I've been listening to my own will more than the Holy Spirit.

Knowing how to fix it is only half the battle however.  Time to start over yet again - good thing my slate is erasable :)

Steep your life in God reality, God initiative, God provisions.  Don't worry about missing out. You'll find your every day human concerns will be met.  ~Matthew 6:33 (The Message)

Seasonal Allergies?

Ecclesiastes 3:1  - For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

I truly believe in God's timing.  When I look back over the course of my life, I see the ways He has worked at the most opportune moment for the maximum benefit.....so many near misses where He intervened and so many beautiful occasions that came when I needed them most.

The problem with that is that hindsight is 20/20 and for the present time, I desperately need some GLASSES!  8-)     just no rose colored glasses for me...... been there, done that!

Or do I?  Maybe my problem is not that I can't see but maybe I'm trying to see much further away than I need to.  I am a planner by nature.  I'm always looking ahead and trying to figure out the easiest way to get there.  Why haven't I learned by now that the easiest road is not always the best?  It's the high road that takes you to the most wonderful places and the high road is not easy to navigate.

I think my problem is that it is not traveling season any longer.  I have been on a journey and it's time to rest.  However, I'm having an incredibly hard time winding down.  I keep anticipating what's next instead of just going with the flow.  And then there are those stupid emotions that come into play.....  they just keep clouding my head and prohibit me from resting.  I need some type of antidote because it is becoming painfully obvious I'm dealing with some serious seasonal allergies in my life.

Life is good. I am right where I am supposed to be.  God knows what He is doing and has my back - even when these seasonal allergies get the best of me.  Sometimes there is an itch and He understands when I scratch it.......   He's just there reminding me that scratching will only make a bigger scar.  He's there ready to apply the Benadryl.  He's there, seeing me through all my sneezes, runny noses and watery eyes.  He is my antidote.  But I'm one of the worst patients.....

Missing the Mark

Lucy Lou was just a normal girl, doing normal things like going to work,  hanging out with friends, etc.  One day Lucy decided to go to see the movie Magic Mike which is about male strippers.  She had heard it was a good show because her girlfriends raved about all the hot guys in it.  So she went and enjoyed herself and then decided she would go out to dinner afterward.  Her plate was more than enough for 2 people but she ate it all anyway because it tasted sooooooooo goood.  She enjoyed her life and was happy and healthy.

Later on, she ran into her friends George and his partner Ron - a same sex married couple. They greeted her and asked what she had been doing that evening.  After she told them, George told her just how horrible it was that she ate that entire meal and the havoc it was going to wreak on her body and then Ron chimed in about the movie and how morally offensive it is.  They basically called her a glutton and a pervert.  Then they told her that they were just saying this out of love and that they would love for her to come to church and meet their "loving" Father and and join in their congregation so that she can be saved and live an eternal life full of roses and sunshine.

Lucy thought to herself:  Do I have moron written across my forehead? Who wants a love like THAT?

Is it really any surprise that we have so many non-believers in our country?  What is wrong with our "Christians" these days?  I'm really beginning to be ashamed.  We are giving ourselves an incredibly bad name......  Not only that, we are totally missing the mark!

What is the point of bringing people to Christ?  The MAIN goal - not all the benefits that come after?  What is it really that we want non-believers to understand?

Seems we are pushing things that really have no bearing on what our ultimate goal should be.  Who cares about the gay marriage issue?  Who cares whether being gay is a choice or a genetics issue?  Who cares that Susan and James are having sex outside of marriage?  Who cares that Cindy Kay is pregnant and wants to have an abortion?    Whose "right" is it to care about those things.......?   Certainly we all have a "right" to care and even to voice our opinion - but we have to consider what the fallout may be if we stand up for our rights just to prove a point.  We have to examine our hearts and proceed with extreme caution.  Because sometimes when we stand up and voice our opinions  - its not virtue that comes across, but hatred or even stupidity.

Our MAIN goal in bringing people to Christ is to show them His love!  HE is the one who cares MOST about their issues in life and it is HIS responsibility and only HIS to show them where they are messing up.  Honestly - its none of our business.  Yes - there are times - after bonding with someone or if they come and ask you for guidance - that it would be our duty to give them our opinion on how they can have a healthier spiritual life but that can only come after divine intervention and/or prayers.  And even then, after that has taken place, its up to God to work on their hearts and our job is just to love 'em.

It reminds me of a conversation I had one time with a friend who just wanted to "get right" with God.  She was going to "get right" and then try to come back to God.   That's not how it works.  We can't "get right" unless we have God in our lives.  The correct order is to come back to God FIRST, then He will make you "right" again.  How in the world can we get people to come to God, if we are constantly telling them they are wrong?  Where has the church gone wrong that even members think they have to "get right" before they are worthy of serving in church?

I think its time to swallow some pride and remember why we are here.  Let God love you so that you can love like He does.

Don't be the pot that calls the kettle black.

Heavy heart

With all the recent hoop-lah over the Chick Fil A Appreciation Day, I can't help but have a heavy heart.  Seems to me like a really passive agressive way to bully those who don't believe the way you do.

I have my beliefs and I am firm in them.  However, I do not feel it is my duty to broadcast or beat them over the heads of those who may disagree.  Who am I to act like I have all the answers?  Just because I believe a certain way does not mean I'm right - even IF I'm in line with the Bible.  The Bible is the source of my faith - yes - but how many times has it been transcribed or rewritten or most importantly interpreted in different ways?  How can one person give his opinion and have so many people jump on his bandwagon?

I'm not even going to go into the issue of whether or not I believe gay marriage should be allowed.  That is totally beside our purpose here on earth.  Our purpose is to love as closely as possible to the way God loves us.  God's love never fails - even when we do.  Instead it intensifies for us when we fail because He knows how much we are hurting ourselves.  Whether or not you believe gays are failing God - YOU are failing God....  in some area - rest assured!  None of us are doing what God would truly have us do and ALL of us have some sort of issue that plagues us.  We are all on this world together just trying to make sense of it all.  Wouldn't it be nice if we quit pointing fingers at each other and just tried to get along?

It hurts me when my children bicker or try to out-do one another.  This hurt God and sometimes it's things like this that make me almost ashamed to associate myself with groups that are represented here.  Just as my previous blog stated - I am a fighter and I will fight the GOOD fight.  But this right here - this is NOT a good fight.  This is a very sad portrayal of the ways men try to out-do each other.  

There is a time to stand up for what you believe but there are also times when our beliefs really don't matter in the face of eternity.  Let God do His job.  You do what He called you to do - love your neighbors as yourself.   Think about how you might feel if the tables were turned and traditional marriage was under attack.

Matthew 7:1-5

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

The Good Fight

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:12

What is up with Timothy and fighting?

Actually I'm beginning to get it.  I always thought I was a lover not a fighter - but I've lately found enough spunk and vigor to be a lil bit scrappy!  You better pack a lunch!

I have learned that the fight can be a good thing and there are certainly things in life that are worth fighting for.  However, what happens when we don't win the fight?  What happens when what we hoped for doesn't become our reality?  When dreams are dashed, promises broken, courage crashes......  then what?

The normal and natural thing is to look at our failures and fall into discouragement.  To see everything little thing we did wrong or that we could have done better.  To nit-pick at our flaws and shortcomings and begin feeling like we are worthless - unvalued and unable to fight ever again.  Weak.  Fragile.  Broken.

But it's not our failures that signify the end of the fight!  In fact, they are our training.  You see - we didn't lose or fail:  we simply got knocked down!  (insert that song - I get knocked down, but I get up again - you're never gonna keep me down)  It's at these times its important to nurse our wounds and contemplate our mistakes but instead of feeling like we failed, we must have faith that we will be up again and fighting once more.  (now I need the Rocky theme song).  

If you're not currently in fight mode then that means you should be training - because rest assured, your fight is coming.  Life is a series of battles that we face - some physical, some spiritual and many many emotional.  We don't always know when they will hit so its important to be in the best shape you can be - or the knocks and blows may take you out of the game much longer than you planned.  Put on the armor of faith and study up on your Trainer - Phil 4;13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me).  Acknowledge His presence and accept the gift of His ability to help you on to victory.

You may not see victory in this lifetime - but it's coming as long as you fight the good fight.  Don't worry about weakness - because that's the only way to become strong.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

How big a boy are ya?  ~wink

Windows.

When you're 40 something and single, there are a lot of open windows.  Many times when you find yourself in this position, it is because some door has closed so I'm borrowing from the cliche "When God closes a door, He opens a window".  Thing is, He doesn't just open A window - He opens ALL THE WINDOWS!

At first, I found myself staring that the closed door, running back to it - trying to open it, picking the lock and even attempting to kick the thing in.  I hurt myself doing that - in a big way.  I nursed my wounds however and decided to hibernate for awhile.  I slept through a few obvious open windows at that time but luckily I didn't miss anything.  I realized I needed that time to build up the confidence to start looking at all the windows and picking one to climb out of.

Some of the open windows are beautiful and show a calm sunny day waiting to happen.  Other windows are dark but you can see the glistening stars and bright moon through them.  Some are cloudy and grey with a storm brewing behind them - but yet they appear so intriguing, you want to chase that storm and smell the rain as it begins to fall.  I also notice windows that blow forceful winds into my dwelling - winds that brush my cheek and whisper quiet poems on my heart.  And then there are also windows that show a world so big and scary that it makes me want to run back to the old door and kick it some more!

Whatever window grabs me at the moment is certainly worth the consideration and I'm enjoying the views from all of them.  However, eventually I will choose one out of which to climb.  Am I still afraid?  Of course!  But I am comforted by the fact, that if I leave my dwelling through a window - that window remains open until I decide to close it.  The door may have been closed for me or even by me but it will remain just that.  It's just not smart to go back in the same door that closed behind you - especially if you want to go forward in life.  Going forward requires some window shopping before the journey and I'm happy for the opportunities to consider all my options - without lamenting over closed doors.

Windows are transparent and clear.   I think it's time I enjoyed the view out of each one.  The opportunities are endless even if overwhelming at times but I'm thankful they are open - just for me - until I decide when its time to close them. 

1+1=1?

I read this interesting excerpt from Dr. Myles Monroe today:
 God designed people to be single.* He explains, "People walk around with a tremendous misconception of what it means to be single. Singleness, in its basic definition, means to be separate, unique, and whole. To be single means you are separate from everyone else, and you are unique in yourself-which means you recognize there's no one like you, and you have worth within yourself. To be single also means you are whole; you don't depend on other people to make you somebody. Until a person is completely single in these three areas, his or her relationships will always be a problem."
[* Dr. Munroe's definition of being "single" does not refer the the world's concept of singleness, but rather being complete and whole in Christ (rather than needing another person to complete your identity).]

That certainly cancels out the romanticism in the line from the movie Jerry McGuire...."you complete me".  But if there is anything I've learned by being single it is just the opposite - NOBODY can complete me!  No human anyway.  That is only done through Christ - just as Dr. Monroe points out above.

What I had never put together, however, is that God designed people to be single - regardless of marital status.  I've heard of the gift of singleness - but that is an entirely different concept.  God designed me to be AMY.  He did not design me to be Les and Dixie's daughter, Jeff's sister, Justin's ex-wife, or Anna and Drew's mom.  He made me to be ME!  Logically I've known this I guess but I have become so distracted with the relationships in my life, that I had forgotten.  I let my priority be everyone else and forgot who I really was along the way.  

When I look back in hindsight, it makes perfect sense.  I have always had a hard time just being me.  I looked to other people for my identity and sense of worth.  I did everything I could to please others and avoid conflict. While in the midst of all that, I couldn't see the forest for the trees.  The answer was probably obvious but I was too distracted to realize it.

God certainly has a way of humbling us, doesn't he?  Sometimes when we refuse to see reality, He has to thump us on the head with it.

In order to see what He wanted for me as a single, whole person - He had to literally make me SINGLE.  Seems He had to dumb it down for me.  And I fought it for many, many years - probably even took my search way too far and could have avoided some super big boo-boos along the way if I just could have understood this concept before.

So Ok God.... I get it now!  And thank you!  It has been a pretty hard lesson but so valuable.  It's a difficult concept because it does not follow traditional mathematical rules.  1+1=1 in relationships.  You must have two whole people to be truly united as one in marriage.  I will admit I was not whole when I married so therefore we were never "One" with each other.

Now do I think one has to be unmarried to learn this?  Not at all. I wish I could have understood before I had to go through divorce.  However - I trust God's ways and I know He's led me down this path for a reason.  What I take away is the encouragement that next time I commit to a relationship, I will be WHOLE and complete and that should make all the difference.  Two halves don't always make a whole --- especially if Christ isn't in the union.  In fact, without Christ no one can be whole.  I know I was only half the woman I needed to be but GOD completes me, not men.  What I can't imagine is how much better can a relationship be with a man who feels the same way and has experienced wholeness in Christ as well.  Now THAT'S sexy......

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13).