I find it ironic that the first thing I read this morning was a little quote from Joyce Meyer - "You don't need to know the why behind everything if you trust God." I had just opened my eyes, happy that it was Friday - but yet in another state hundreds of miles away, children were likely entering their school rooms - happy that it was Friday.
I no longer care that it's Friday.
Friday means absolutely nothing to a mother whose child was killed in a senseless shooting in a place where children are supposed to be safe and secure. Friday means nothing to the parents who comfort those children who lived through the tragedy. Friday means nothing to the spouses of those killed as they enter their quiet, empty homes tonight - stunned by the fact that life changes in an instant and dumbfounded that there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it.
And yet still, we all try to make sense of it all. What is it in our human nature that constantly wants to know why? Does it really matter why? I mean, it is what it is. It's evil. That is almost explanation enough. But other times there are tragedies that can't even be explained as evil. They are just unfortunate events that impact us in a big way. And yet - we still ask why. When we hurt, we look for the source - is it so we can try to fix it?
Why did my loved one get cancer? Why did my friend miscarry? Why did my marriage fail? Why did 911 have to happen? Why did the Murrah Building get bombed? Why did that bully pick on MY child? Why did that friendship end? Why did my family lose touch with each other? Why is the world so jacked up these days????
You know - if we really knew why, would it make us feel any better? Maybe in certain cases. But most of the time, no. Most of the time, the why would just confuse us more or make us feel even worse. I no longer ask why.... and for the most part, no longer care about the why.
But there ARE certain things I hold onto - especially when things like this happen.
1. God loves us. Even when things happen that don't appear to be loving - He is still there just waiting for us to turn to Him.
2. God is in control. Even when the world has gone ape crazy, God still has a reign on things and He can turn any situation into something good if we seek Him.
3. I am God's child. And if He truly is my father, He knows best. If I trust Him, and I seek His guidance, He works everything......no, really EVERYTHING out the way it is supposed to be. It may not always be pretty and it may hurt like hell at times but I truly believe that all experiences in my life have shaped and continue to shape me into the woman he wants me to be.
So yeah - when nothing in the world makes sense - I will admit I do have those moments where I would rather retire to my bed and pull the covers over my head and sleep into the next century - but you know what, no one's really even safe in their own homes so why roll over and play dead? Life is a battle - full of good and evil forces. When we give up, we essentially let evil win and let God down in the process. I'm not going to surrender. I refuse to dwell on the bad and instead I choose SONshine.
For Pete's sake, it's Christmas! What is the message we are supposed to be giving the world? It's that of hope. Christ came to give us that hope. As I write, I look at the Christmas tree and I reflect on years past. Christmas is traditionally a melancholy time for me. So many memories of things that no longer are a part of my life - things that cause my heart to bleed a bit, things I miss, things I long for..... But this year when I see the tree, I also see the cross. And when I see the cross, I remember my broken heart. I originally thought he mended it but I'm beginning to see that hearts are not mended, they are simply replaced. His life on earth and eventual death on the cross gave Him the ability to give me a heart like His - or perhaps a piece of His very own heart. His grace allows Him to take broken hearts and replace them with His. Therefore, our hearts can't forgive what's been done
today and we never forget when we are wronged; But God will take our
broken hearts and give us His - just when we need it most. It's
Christmas and we are to believe - even when evil in the world tries to
steal our faith and especially when we don't understand. Look for good
where you can find it and know that it still has power!
My prayer tonight as the world continues to spiral out of control is that all those with broken hearts for whatever reason - will get a small glimpse of the tree - the cross - His grace - and know that there is hope even if they can't see it yet.
Isaiah 55:8 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways declares the Lord.
This says it all to me. No point in asking why if I trust in Him.
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